God has placed us in an apartment five minutes in distance from the church we were married in. It wasn’t really until after and in time of reflection that I had noticed we married on the feast Day of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.
We have attended this church over the last ten years. At times we’ve been a thorn in the side of others in the church who have much more influence and power than we do. I had requested a kneeler bench for communion in 2015…and the priest granted this. I faced some initial hostility but it was embraced over time.
The pandemic came and this created a dividing line between some within families and friendships. Also this division was within the church. A small tiny minority then attended Latin Masses. At our particular church the pandemic guidelines are still in place two years after the pandemic has gone. There is a stronghold of fear that controls aspects of the function of the ceremony. Masked guards stand about policing others. Fear turns into a ceremonial intimidation.
The manner in which the Eucharist is administered now causes Jesus so much pain. This is how it can be described: Jesus’s presence hovers literally at the tabernacle. He is encased, hostage to our errors in free will in a state that could be described as a painful sleep paralysis. When you wake up at night and you are fully conscious but you cannot move. On top of this add the injury He feels by the lack of reverence carried out by those He loves. It’s happening blindfolded as people are led in the wrong direction. In the sacrificial revisiting of Calgary, He is being pushed, shoved and grabbed again. This is why when Jesus spoke to my wife initially He spoke about His ‘pain’ and how awful it is for Him. In our ignorance we didn’t understand this at the time.
Our Lords pain is for two reasons:
1. The rejection of Jesus and the heightened level of sin
2. The lack of reverence in administration of the Eucharist
With fluctuations of reports but no definite outbreak the church is still trapped in a cloud of fear. I would say policy decisions are arbitrarily actioned. The font at the entrance of the church now has water removed. I asked the priest if holy water could be placed back in the font. Surely if people are concerned about infection they can avoid using the font. This will give a just option to those who want to use Holy Water on entrance and exit..
While at home I gazed at a picture of Jesus while in prayer. These words came : ‘ do not fight them’. Jesus had mentioned that I am similar to St Peter in nature because I have ‘fire in me ‘ for Our Lord. St Peter was told to stand down during the arrest of Jesus. St Peters long road of growth via suffering stood before him.
Jesus in Galgary stood down and Peter learned to stand down like Our Lord. No matter how upset we get at the state of the church we have to leave it to Jesus as he will be the judge.
One way we can take action is to pray for our parishes and priests.